The engagement story. Where do I begin. Ah yes… the ring. But even before the ring there was mountains that had to be climbed in my own life. Ive always known that this woman was it. No more after her. She was the one, but my idea of getting engaged in taking that first large step into such an integral chapter in life needed to have structure. For lack of better phrasing, I needed to meet a certain “goal post” before I could even venture into the idea of proposing. But what this past year to year and a half has made me realize, after very self-reflective and soul searching conversations with Anna or within myself, is that you cannot use checkpoints to progress in life all the time because the more you do, the farther you push the “goal post”; and that was what I was doing. Anxiousness of not knowing where to even start after months and months of Anna jokingly asking about getting married and when to which I would always reply with “soon” knowing well that that word was merely being used as a lifeline. It wasn’t until last year around august 2024 where I had the thought appear in my head of “I will marry this girl this year”, but I knew that thought was not mind. I knew that thought was God. Fast forward past a long year of emotional, physical, mental and most of all, spiritual growth, the ring was acquired.

First came my own research of antique and vintage rings from online curated jewelers. Some borne from the Big Apple, the Midwest, or even on other continents. All of which was daunting considering I did not have the convenience or funds of visiting these rings in person to perceive and understand all of the rings characteristic beauty. Not to mention the price tags of these antique rings would make the previous owners of these rings turn in their graves.

After unsuccessful attempts at searching without her knowing, I knew I could not continue filtering ring choices off of, what was basically guessing her tastes and preferences. So, we consensually decided together to go into jewelry stores to get an idea of the most basic things she’d prefer in an engagement ring: Size, Cut, Clarity, Band, Setting, etc. All terms that made my palms sweat and my heart thump just trying to grasp the overload of information. We decided on visiting well known jewelers that created rings that had price tags that some people couldn’t even make after years of salary. Rings that did not have character. Rings that were pretty on the eyes but hollow in individuality. They were all dying stars: bright but empty. We realized that these options were not sustainable for us. Anna, still unsure about cut, setting, band, and metals, she at least knew she wanted an antique ring. A ring that has character and had a story to it, a story of love that we’d have the honor of carrying on. So, she suggested going to pawn shops for her engagement ring.

And finally… The proposal. Where, when, and how. The biggest obstacle I had was choosing the location. As someone who has always tried to plan things for Anna with good intentions, something always has to go wrong, or I will forget something, or not plan far ahead enough and things might not go the way the plan was. But the most important thought I wanted to keep in mind for this proposal was continuing to have God remind me through prayer that everything was going to figure itself out. I found peace in that. I had realized I’d want to propose in November before any of the major holidays. And as November drew closer, my stress and anxiety abounded. Ironic right? Finding that peace that everything will work out was harder in practice than writing this story out right now. After endless hours of scouring on Pinterest, Tik Tok, and All Trails combined with a scroll like length of Google searches, I had finally found the true place I knew was the one. I found the “Where” - Point Reyes National Seashore.

Now the biggest worries that popped up into my brain was, ‘is this everything Anna is asking for in a proposal?’:

Is it intimate? Not a lot of people around?

Does it feel like a fairy tale or other worldly?

Is it meaningful, significant, or thoughtful?

The answer to all of these, in my eyes, was ‘Yes’. First, my plan to propose at Point Reyes South Beach Overlook Point was at sunset (a key point to remember) overlooking the rolling hills, the waves crashing onto cliffsides, and the sky filled with pink and orange clouds. Plus, after constant weekly Tik Tok searches about Point Reyes by filtering to “Recently posted within the last month”, it had seemed like November was not a tourist-y time of the year. Perfect.

Second, after looking at recent Trail Pictures and more Tik Tok research, it looked absolutely breathtaking. And spoiler alert, it was better in person. It may have not been a “fairy tale” location, but wow-… it felt other worldly in the most peaceful and beautiful way possible.

Thirdly, at the time I was planning all of this, the main fuel for “significance” and “thoughtfulness” was taking her to a place that is just us. Surrounded by nature. Just us. Away from all the noise and the tribulations of the world. Spending true quality time with each other and God out here. Only to realize after proposing, that Anna brought up something very profound. The date I asked her to be my girlfriend was actually at a beach (another key point to remember) and though we were not directly on a beach, we overlooked miles and miles of coastal beach with waves that stretched as far as thee eye can see. She said it felt like we were looking back at the beginning whilst standing before our future. Truly occupying the present.

Stress and irritation are all byproducts of me worrying about timelines and being on time to things. Both of these things I absolutely did not want on this trip. So I knew that my trust in God would lead me to a path of patience and not forcing things to go my way but His way. Letting everything flow and be flexible was at the forefront of my mind. Remember when I had mentioned that I had wanted to propose at sunset? Well it was going to be on Monday the 17th during sunset. The only problem was… It was pouring the entire weekend right before Sunday the 16th. Even the drive up to get to our BnB in Inverness, the small town near Point Reyes, had multiple showers. My initial goal of proposing at sunset on Monday would soon be molded to His will and not mine as we woke up late the next morning after such a long and arduous drive up to Northern California. We trekked into the small town and got lunch. Still gloomy. Still uncertain of more rain, and no sign of clearing up at all. Anna then suggests that we use this day to explore the city instead and go on the hikes/trails I had wanted to go to first thing in the morning. As she sits across from me at the table with her sparkling eyes, her beautifully but quickly braided hair to be able to put on such a cool pilot cap she had bought the day before, and a vibrant blue top that only accentuated her beautiful makeup which only comes once every blue moon since she has the beauty of not needing any; she asks me that question. And yes, I was quaking in my boots. Nervous. But at the same time, as I saw this beautiful woman sit across from me, pivoting and molding my plan around her never felt easier. I said “okay we can do that, and just explore together today”. Fast forward to the afternoon as the sunset time was upon us… the sky ended up becoming clear. The clouds that had been hovering over us all day, suddenly disappeared. But the coast was still a 30 min drive away. Not to mention, I wouldn’t have known if there were already people having the same idea as me of looking at sunsets at Point Reyes. Funny how God works sometimes. But I prayed for patience and trust so that what I keep telling myself.

After a half day of exploring the small town, we were still exhausted from the drive up, so we tucked away into the BnB early that night. That same night, she asks me

“Were you planning on proposing this trip?”. My mind and heart are racing. I pulled the most convincing poker face and genuine tone of voice I possibly could for lying right to her face. I couldn’t let it unfold like this. I had to keep some semblance of surprise, even if her intelligence could smell a proposal from a mile away.

“oh… thats not what I had planned. I had planned a proposal for after our trip. I’m really sorry”

She takes a moment to register what I just said, and she asks me again in a sadder tone, “Are you sure? You’re really not proposing on this trip?”

She doubles down. My heart only sinks farther and farther to what felt like through the mattress and past the floor boards. I have to hold the fort. So I doubled down.

“Yeah, I really didn’t plan on proposing this trip. I’m really sorry love”

She takes a longer moment to register my words only to sink into a slumber that was fueled by sadness and disappointment. I could tell she was one step ahead of me and realized what this trip could be. But I couldn’t fold especially after almost reaching the finish line. But this interaction between us caused her to fall into a nights sleep but made me stay up all night wondering if what I said made everything worse. Was it the right thing to say? Should I wake her up to give her some bread crumbs? Should I hint at it a little bit? No. I can’t. I have to see it through. I manage to “go to sleep” and I put quotations around that because I absolutely could not sleep. So much so, that when Anna had woken up in the middle of the night, she heard me murmuring her name in my sleep because I was so distraught about our conversation.

The sun hasn’t even woken up yet, but here we are. Awake and ready to Trek outside. Tuesday, November 18th. We woke up in better spirits, in which she later told me was her way of still wanting to enjoy the trip and the quality time I had planned to have on this “vacation”. We get in the car and hit the road for about a 30 min car ride from Inverness to the Point Reyes coast. Only car on the road at that time in the morning. Ring box in my pocket. Orange skies blooming as the sun starts to stretch and yawn from its night sleep. We see endless rolling hills and the elk and cows that roam its green pastures. We make our way to the lookout point and as we reach the parking lot for the regional coast that is Point Reyes, there is no one else there with us. As my mind is racing with thoughts on how this proposal might go, is my back straight on the kneel, will I stutter in my brief speech prepared, will the camera angle be tilted or will my camera fall over because of the strong winds… so many thoughts. Only for a soothing voice to break up the chaotic silence in my mind… Anna’s. She sees a random trail that was clearly not the look out point I was trying to take her to. But, like I said… God’s will and not mine. Let this all be flexible. Organic. Free. So we took 10-20 minutes exploring this smaller lookout point/trail and then we make our way to the actual proposal spot.

We make our way stumbling with intention as we put one foot in front of the other down the rugged dirt path others have carved out for us. Still, no one is here and in all of nature’s beauty, it is just Anna and I. Waves stretching for miles as we stand in the middle of green grass and the winds giving us the push we need to continue down the trail to our destination almost as if guiding us, leading us even, to the spot I had in mind. We get to the lookout point. I take my time, fiddle with setting the tripod up (I have been using the tripod the whole trip so it wasn’t super suspicious that I brought one out for this “picture”), and start taking pictures and videos for her. Each second my mind is racing thinking “okay, how am I going to transition into this smoothly” or “when’s the perfect time to get on one knee” or my mind is just being filled with the reciting of my speech.

Finally, I set the video up, and I walk over to her. Ring in pocket. Heart racing. Hands cold… But she can’t tell because every square inch of skin exposed to the elements is chilled because of the winds. I pose with her, I twirl her, and then I hug her. As we disembark from the hug I hold onto both of her hands and look her in the eyes and as my eyes stay connected to hers my knee drops. My back straight as if I was a new cadet enrolled into boot camp. I ask God to give me the strength and courage to get through this. I take my time and I recite my entire speech for the proposal. Anna is so ecstatic and nervous and excited that she covers my mouth, then crouches with me, and then realizes that maybe she should stand up… she’s just as excited as I am. I’m going to marry my best friend. This was the feeling I had as I recited my speech to her and watched as she was speechless.

“… I refuse to live the rest of this life without you. I can’t. I love you with my whole being Anna Marlene Ofori-Atta. Will you marry me?” as my eyes well up.

I take the ring box from my pocket and I open it up. She says yes as she starts to kneel with me and we interlock our bodies hugging each other amidst the wind. Amidst the clear skies. Amidst the waves crashing on the beach. We kiss and we fall into each other’s arms on the grass and just stay there a while until we realize again… we’re engaged. We really are..